I Feel Like I Should Apologize to All Goats

A very descriptive and charming story about the ends days of an old goat, he could have been my Granddad!

The end of your story reminded us of Watership Down (the film adaptation of the book by Richard Adams, hopefully famous outside of the UK), which is always a good thing, as its one of our favourite films.

We think that your story maybe a little over descriptive in places.

I was expecting a YA story but this is a story for all ages. I think it would appeal to older adults more than the young.
Your strength as a writer shines through with the images your words portray.
My only criticism is in the 3rd paragraph end the second sentence with hoofless arms. I thought it was stronger without the “for some strange man reason”

I’ve spent time in Hawaii and walked the lava grounds under the night sky, Ed was one lucky goat.

Beautiful story, the ending when he moves on to enjoy everlasting youth was rich with sentiment and left this reader in a feel good state.
Suzie Page

Am I allowed to say that I really loved this? Your narration? Ed’s voice? All of that stuff (and, yes, that’s the technical term).

Anyone with half a taste bud, etc. Great!

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I particularly liked: with an ease that put toes to shame, but there were many other great lines as well. Great story about aging and death.

There were two lines, that I didn’t like: “There were supposed to be more of him out here.” I found that line a bit ambiguous. Did you mean to say that there were supposed to be more like him out here? Also, the line about him not being a dog. Dogs sometimes eat what they bring up, but not always. I wasn’t sure if you were referring to that or not. But certainly someone who is not familiar with dogs would have no clue.

Look forward to more of your writing.

Hi Ruthanne

I really enjoyed reading your story!

I like your vivid descriptions of the local environment.
The vivid sense-images really bring the scene to life.

Some of the imagery you use is striking in its own right too.
For example, in the first paragraph, you write ‘Lava was dead sunlight…’ This is one of the most beautiful phrases I have read in some time.
It’s a striking, poetic image – and beautiful too. Impressive! 🙂

I enjoyed the way your description provides a believable goat’s-eye view of the world, too. I now know what it is like to be a goat! Thank you 🙂

As I have to make one ‘critical’ point of feedback, here it is:
At a couple of points there may be a few too many adjectives in the descriptions – which may impact on readability. There is no one word that is out of place – just, perhaps, a density of detail that may reduce readability. My feedback point is that maybe some of the description passages could do with slight thinning of adjectives so as to ease the overall readability of the piece.

I also have to say I felt sad to read of Ed’s demise.
That’s not a criticism, though – just a sign that your writing brought him to life for me in the first place!
So R.I.P. Ed, and thank you Ruthanne for an enjoyable read. 🙂
Best wishes
Stuart.