Death dreams

Ann this is really really good. I was into it right from the get go. From when the young girl chosen to be sacrificed to sick child, I thought wow – this is like that old television show “Quantum Leap”, but with dreams. Angie steps into another person’s life/death, but in doing so she is gaining information that will help others when they face their own times, and even though it is not easy for Angie, I think that over time she learns as much about herself as she does about the dreams she is experiencing.

The ending was very fitting and I think it tied things up very nicely.

I know that we are supposed to critique and discuss if something in a story didn’t work for us, but I honestly thought this story flowed nicely and I really enjoyed reading it.

Excellent.

James Schmidt (J.L.S.)

Where to submit. Always a good but tough question. It’s been a while since I waded into the literary magazine territory, but a good place to start your search is always duotrope.com. There’s also my list from Let’s Write a Short Story: http://letswriteashortstory.com/literary-magazines/

For specific markets? Anything with a science fiction bent might work. Here are a few you might consider:

http://dailysciencefiction.com/submit
http://www.obscurajournal.com/guidelines.php
http://www.vestalreview.net/Guidelines41.html
http://pankmagazine.com/

Good luck!

Where to submit. Always a good but tough question. It’s been a while since I waded into the literary magazine territory, but a good place to start your search is always duotrope.com. There’s also my list from Let’s Write a Short Story: http://letswriteashortstory.com/literary-magazines/

For specific markets? Anything with a science fiction bent might work. Here are a few you might consider:

http://dailysciencefiction.com/submit
http://www.obscurajournal.com/guidelines.php
http://www.vestalreview.net/Guidelines41.html
http://pankmagazine.com/

Good luck!

I agree with the others about the strength of this piece.

I love your writing best, when you add these surreal dream, or spiritual elements. You should definitely do something with this story.

Thanks for sharing, Ann 🙂

Wow! That was a fascinating story! Honestly the only suggest I can think of is to watch the formatting. I really needed a paragraph break here:

For what seemed like forever, the chants continued, then someone lifted her into place and the blade descended. Her body jerked. (break here)
Angie woke, sweating, and wrote the dream in her notebook. She

I can tell there probably was one in the original, but this format ate it.

Really fascinating! Thanks for sharing!

Hi Ann,

I enjoyed reading this so much. I’m impressed with how you covered an entire lifetime in such a short story. That isn’t easy! I’ve wanted to try that but been too chicken to take it on. Good job!

The opening paragraphs were compelling and vivid, I was right there.

I had to re-read the following a few times to understand. Once I understood, it made sense, but it was a bumpy understanding in an otherwise seamless flow:

Each night she went to sleep, wondering who she’d be this time and how she would die. What wisdom could she gain? She kept track of more details. She read a book about controlling her dreams. She got the movie, for that’s what it seemed like, to start a year before the death, then two years.

Maybe separate out the two thoughts; 1- the dreams were like a movie. 2- she trained herself to drop into them earlier. That would make it smoother and easier for me to understand.

I’m curious, you wrote “She’d had all of those dreams so that she could write her novels and self-help books. The stories reminded humans of their past. A voice rang out, “You have reviewed all of your lives. That was the last step before you can go into the light.” Finally at peace, she let go and became one with the energy pulsing around her.”

Did she have the dreams, or were they given to her so she could help people? (I’m not hinting or asking a leading question, just wondering)

When the voice rings out, is there any other accompanying sensations Light? Feeling? Warmth? Peace?

I understand that she published novels based on the dreams and lessons. Did she eventually publish self-help books? In one paragraph you say “Or was their purpose the lessons she learned along the way, which she collected in their own notebook, thinking she’d write a self-help book someday?” A few paragraphs later, when she gets her epiphany, you write “She’d had all of those dreams so that she could write her novels and self-help books.”

As a paragraph beginning, this startled me a bit, like something was wrong with her: “Her heart grew weak.” If you indicated again time passing would help… like “In time her heart grew weak.”

I love the music and imagery of this…it feels dreamy, which is so fitting:

“…forgotten memories of childhood giving way to her tumultuous teens, then love, marriage, and children, bits and pieces unrolling as vividly as they had when she’d gone through them.”

Thank you for this journey. If your partner enjoys it as much as I did, it is a big success!

Great job, Ann. I thought this was a lovely piece, but I agree with Marge, it also took me a moment and a re-read to catch the movie reference.

Good luck with this!

Fascinating story, Anne. Most stories beginning with dream sequences are horrible, but this was brilliant. I really love the details involved in the sacrifice story, and all the small details you weave through this piece. I’m not a big believer in the multiple lives theory, so that didn’t captivate me, but I thought the storytelling itself was very well done. Have you submitted this around yet? You should!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Joe Bunting.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Joe Bunting.

Ann – I agree with Joe. You might want to shop this around or enter it into a contest or two.

-James Schmidt