The Harbinger Crow

Huh! I didn’t see that coming at all. What an absolutely interesting story! I love the twist – harbingers of good things. This woman seems like an amazing character. She’s clearly been through hell, and yet survived, and maybe now has a chance to thrive. Is she part of a bigger story?

One suggestion: I’d like to see something to indicate scene change, just as a matter of scene flow. For example:

She closed her laptop and leaned back, resting her head against the soft chair. He’s gone. They can rest easier now, he’s gone.

Several days later in a sprawling field just outside of town, Emma’s dog, Blue, trotted at her side as she walked.

If that had some kind of break, it would grant more of a feeling of time passing. For example:

She closed her laptop and leaned back, resting her head against the soft chair. He’s gone. They can rest easier now, he’s gone.

* * *

Several days later in a sprawling field just outside of town, Emma’s dog, Blue, trotted at her side as she walked.

Now, it feels like the ending of a scene and the beginning of another one.

I really hope you have more story with her and her dog. I love that she named him Blue. 🙂

Hi, Margie. 🙂

I like how you use the superstitious crow to foreshadow death. I really like the following paragraph because I can see the ominous bird gazing down forbodingly at Emma. It reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven (one of my favorite poems).

Emma and the crow locked gazes. The crow leaned down and stretched its head towards her. Its tail rose above its mirror-black head. It blinked. Like a fired shot, it spoke again, louder. The “Caw!” reverberated in the air between them. Suddenly its black wings opened wide like a book. Its body lifted and glided off.

Suggestions…

Maybe explore the dichotomy of death (good thing vs. bad thing) more? The two men that died were obviously bad people who, many would argue, deserved to die. But what if it weren’t so cut and dry? I know I’m playing devil’s advocate here, but it feels like there’s room for a bit more conflict in this deeply moving story. Hmm…

Nice work, Margie!