Lennie's Short Story

I could “feel” and see the flying, like I was part of it – well done!

I took the word “couple” at the beginning of the story to indicate their relationship at that point, so when I read it I assumed they were partners/married.

very interesting world you’ve created. I’d be interested in reading more.

Hi Lennie!

There’s a lot of action here, which has the potential for drawing in the reader if combined with strong dialogue and, perhaps, some stakes. You’ve built an intriguing world that I’m curious about.

I would like to connect with the characters some more. You don’t offer any clarification of who Grace Ann is and her connection to Zach until the very end. This is an action-filled scene, as I said before, but it could be more gripping with an unexpected twist.

Just my two cents. Thanks for sharing!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson.