I really liked this, especially the part at the end. Great job creating strong imagery. I agree with Brian that it could be made into a longer story. You certainly have me hooked. My only suggestion would be to possibly portray his fear of the dream a little more. I think there’s a great opportunity to put the audience in his shoes.

Haha! This is great. I love how you captured her discontent at being there in the hospital. I love your ease and simplicity of writing. Great ending with the name. My only suggestion would be to maybe describe more of what’s happening to help us be with the character more.

I loved the ending of this. It’s a great storyline. My only criticism would be the small section where you switched from past to present tense. I think that’s the hardest thing to master as writers. I look forward to reading more.

Great story. I loved the ending. It was something I didn’t expect at all. Your descriptive writing is very good and you hit it on the head with making a person feel in the character’s shoes. My only improvement would be to watch the POV changes.

I am still struggling to find my audience. Right now my audience is my husband and my two best friends. But I mainly write for me. I am terrified to share my own writing (even with some positive comments from those who have read my work). And when I do share my writing I’m always second guessing it; wondering if it’s good enough, if I followed the right rules, if anyone will actually like it. My husband repeatedly tells me “JUST WRITE” and don’t let all that “other stuff” keep you from writing and I think he’s right. It’s comforting to be connected to a group of writers as well because we are all going through (or have gone through) many of the same fears of being a writer.

I think sometimes as writers we just want to tell a story with no real person or group specifically targeted. That’s at least the way it is with me. But I wholeheartedly agree with Joe that stories are meant to be shared.

Welcome Paloma! Looking forward to reading your writing.

Welcome Michael! Looking forward to getting to know you.

Welcome James! Congrats on winning the writing contest. That is an amazing feeling. Looking forward to reading your writing and getting to know you.

Welcome Gwen! Sounds like you have a fun journey ahead of you!

Welcome Brenda.