Hi Robin! Nice for you to join us again!

Wow, Nita! That sounds like a great program! You’ll have to keep us posted on how your class goes. 🙂

Hi Andy! I was on the course last time and I remember seeing you. 🙂

Congrats on your publishing! I’ll look you up on Amazon.

Hi Stuart! Glad to see you here!

I’ve done a smidgen of work as a ghost writer and I have a ton of respect for writers who flourish in that environment. Too much pressure to keep my thoughts aligned with the person I was writing for.

Story Cartel is a great way to dabble in new things and get feedback from others. I’m looking forward to seeing what you come up with!

Hi Ruthanne! Glad to have you here! The point of this course is to help you build your Cartel, so hopefully you’ll find some key members of your group who can nudge you in the right direction with your WIP.

Looking forward to sharing together.

Hi Jyl! I noticed you, too.

We don’t bite. 🙂

The nice thing about stories is that everyone has them. Maybe even doing a Google search of writing prompts or skimming through what others have submitted so far will jog your “muse”.

Looking forward to sharing with you!

Katie, this is really lovely. Maybe one of my favorite pieces from you, so far. Very strong and vivid.

I agree with Margie about going through and removing those beloved filter words (“feel”, “seem”, “see”). There weren’t many of those, though.

For example:

You can see homeless people sleeping in doorways;

This could very easily just say “Homeless people sleep in the doorways”. No need to point out that we can see them.

Love this, Katie! Great job.

Holla! Great job on finishing your book

Overall, I like the query. However, I struggled with this sentence, in particular.

In order to destroy it, Jesse must first restore it, beginning with the two shapeshifters living in the human world, oblivious of their connection with him.

It was difficult to keep a clear picture of what you were trying to say because of all of the commas… and I’m just not sure about the oblivious shapeshifter part.

Ugh, Twitter. I want to love it, but… yeah.

Glad to have you here, Justine. Loved reading your intro, and I think it’s really cool that you’ve seen your plays acted out. I’d love to see that happen to one of my books. 🙂

Glad to have you here!

You know what happened as soon as I set a deadline to publish my book? In the span of one week, a woman I was providing birth support to went into labor. A family friend died. Another woman went into labor after the funeral. Life. Death. It goes on, and we can let it derail us, or push through and do what we need to do anyway.

Glad you’re here, despite life!

Hey Lise!

Don’t be scared–we don’t bite… much. 😉

Looking forward to sharing with you!

Introverts? What are…

Just kidding. You’ve come to the right place. This is about as social as I can manage most days! LOL

Hi Lennie!

There’s a lot of action here, which has the potential for drawing in the reader if combined with strong dialogue and, perhaps, some stakes. You’ve built an intriguing world that I’m curious about.

I would like to connect with the characters some more. You don’t offer any clarification of who Grace Ann is and her connection to Zach until the very end. This is an action-filled scene, as I said before, but it could be more gripping with an unexpected twist.

Just my two cents. Thanks for sharing!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson.

Hi Brian and James!

I like what you said about chapters standing on their own. That’s something to reach for, isn’t it?

Looking forward to sharing with both of you!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson. Reason: Darn punctuation

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Sunny Henderson. Reason: Darn punctuation