Hi Dawn,

Thank you for this piece. It’s nice to read another mother’s experience and that I’m not alone in experiencing the uncertainties and pains of childbirth.

I too had to go through a C-section—one for my eldest and another for my third child (he was born just last May 24). And like you, they had to operate on me because the baby was too big to push out normally. This, I believe, is the beauty of stories like these. They allow us to connect people who we may never have met but who share the same experiences. 🙂

My suggestion to make this piece better is to add a bit more structure to the story so it flows naturally. There are times when I have to take a step back and re-read to keep track of what’s happening. I know how difficult it can be to press all the meaningful events into one sitting, but this will definitely make the reading experience even more enjoyable for the reader.

Hi Ebony,

This is such a beautiful story. You’ve woven a character I’ve grown to admire and revere. I can also feel the magic that surrounds her. It isn’t the fantastical kind of magic, but magic that touches people’s hearts and gives them hope.

I also like the way you describe how the Miracle Worker is able to mend and bind relationships in paragraph 2 and how it ties in with her work as a seamstress. The connection is spot on.

As for improvements, there are paragraphs that I think can be removed as it dampens the strength of the story. For instance, you can remove the paragraph that begins with, “Amanda is ecstatic…” because this allows the reader to discover what’s so special about this girl in the later paragraphs.

Can’t wait to read more of your works! 🙂

Hi Katie,

Caerphilly does sound… magical! Anything similar to C. S. Lewis’ Narnia is a must-see on my list. Glad that you’ve achieved so much during your first time here at SCC and that your back for a second round.

Looking forward to learning from you and reading your work! 🙂

It’s been a while since I read a story on teenage girls. This brings me back to my Sweet Valley days.

On that note, I liked how rich your descriptions are in this opening scene. I can clearly see the beams of disco light, the colorful bracelets dangling from the girls’ wrists, etc.

I particularly liked the tension you set up for Kathy near the end of the story. It reveals her insecurity despite her identity as “top girl,” which is something I don’t often see in stories like this. I’d like to see this flesh out a bit more if you ever decide to pursue this story.

For improvements, I think you can still work on the ending to make it stronger. I got thrown off by “Chocolate’s my new boyfriend” (is it Kathy or Karen?) and wondered if she actually appeased herself or if she’s hiding her nervousness. Either way, it wasn’t very clear.

Hope this helps! 🙂

In my experience, it depends on what I’m writing about and what my intention for writing the piece is.

I’m currently adhering to a Poetry for Others pledge where I’m writing poems and gifting it to those who want poems from me. Usually the piece speaks to this person or the idea of a “you” where I’m writing and sharing an experience, thought, or idea with him or her directly. The response I get after sharing these poems are positive, especially when they can relate to the narrative or the message in the poem.

In other cases, I write for myself. I see something, experience something, and I simply want to write about it. Oftentimes the idea of an audience doesn’t come to me until I feel that the poem can and is ready to be shared.

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This is actually a timely exercise (late as I am) because I’ve been struggling with this idea of an audience. I know poetry can be read and enjoyed by everyone, regardless of age, gender, location, and culture, but I always hear that same old marketing advice that you gotta know who your ideal reader is to be able to craft stories or messages that he or she will respond to.

While it does make sense, I feel silly writing an ideal reader persona just to be able to flesh this out. Can’t I just say that I write for the universe and all who inhabit it?

What do you guys think? Is a reader persona exercise a necessary thing for creative writers to do? How do we make it work for us?

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Stephanie Gonzaga.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Stephanie Gonzaga.

I agree that being a part of a writing group can be a lot of fun. The Story Cartel is so far the most interactive and fruitful one I’m participating in, which is awesome. The other writing groups I’ve joined are more focused on business writing and blogging, so they either promote their blog posts or talk about legalities and job opportunities. :-/

I’m taking this course because I want to learn how to build a wholesome and engaging platform for my writing where I can connect with people and share my work with them. I’ve always been on the sidelines, watching and wondering how professional creative writers in the Philippines are able to build their reputation and get their work published. This time, I want to take action and actually build my following while connecting with them on a one-to-one basis, if that’s possible.

On an emotional level, I want to inspire and touch people through my poetry, to share with them stories and perspectives based on how I see and feel the world around me. I’ve already tried gifting people poems, and the happiness I feel whenever they thank me for inspiring them through poetry is just priceless.

Of course, I want to make a living out of my work as a creative writer. So I hope SCC will be able to teach me how to strategically market and sell my work to my audience without feeling nervous or afraid of what may happen.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Stephanie Gonzaga. Reason: Just threw in a couple more ideas

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  Stephanie Gonzaga. Reason: Just threw in a couple more ideas