Hi Dawn, nice to meet you. I’ve been checking out the online writing classes at UCSD Extension. How are they?

I’m looking forward to interacting and sharing with you!

Yvette

This story was gory, hence I enjoyed it. I love a good zombie tale, with all the disturbing parts included. The descriptions were vivid and graphic, and set the creepy tone for the story. I also liked the twist at the end.

I liked the action between Bob and the man. However, I had to reread the part where Bob fell down and was sent flying into the truck bed, because this line didn’t stand out:

before the man’s brick made contact with the side of Bob’s head. Bob went down.

Perhaps “made contact” could be replaced with a stronger, more dynamic verb, as it serves as a trigger for the chain of events after that.

Thanks for sharing. This was a great piece!

I liked how vividly you described the cooking styles of your mother and grandmother. I could definitely see both women in their kitchens and the contents of their mixing bowls. And from the way you described your granny’s pancakes, I can see why you preferred hers (and it made me want to have a plate myself). I also liked how you compared making pancakes to finding yourself. I’ve seen a lot of metaphors used for this theme, but I can’t say any of them involved pancakes.

The first sentence threw me off a bit. It started off with a memory, then there was a shift in tenses which I had to read twice before continuing. Otherwise, I read the entire thing without stopping. This was a lovely piece. Thank you for sharing this.

Nice to meet you, Katie. I Googled Caerphilly, and the images I saw were beautiful. It seems you only need to look out your window for inspiration.

The experiences you gained since joining the course inspires me with my own quest as a writer. I look forward to learning from you and working with you throughout the course. 🙂

I am taking this course so I can interact with people who are also passionate about writing, and be part of a writing community. I’ve been writing for myself for several years and it’s been a long time since I’ve let others see my work, so I’m a little rusty in that department. The exercises to publish our pieces and interact with the community will definitely take me out of my comfort zone, but I think I need that push to be more comfortable writing for someone other than myself.

I love kick-ass female leads, and Nightshade is definitely one of them. The pacing was good, and the short paragraphs served to highlight the tension of the story. I liked how you juxtaposed Violet and Trenton by what they ordered and how they acted in the restaurant.

I would have liked a little bit more action before Violet kills Trenton. He doesn’t seem to be giving her a hard time before she breaks his neck, especially since he knew she was Nightshade. Of course, this could simply be added once you extend the scene for a full-length story. That’s a hint, by the way. 😉

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  YCPascual.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 10 months ago by  YCPascual.

Hi Gwen. I know what you mean about the distraction of sharing. I was also a bit concerned this course would take up a lot of writing time, as I am also a slow writer and I want to finish my project within my deadline. In the end though, I think it was the right decision to join this course, since the benefits outweigh any downside.