Listen to this lesson (8:29)
[audio:http://commondatastorage.googleapis.com/authorcartel/Rule%202.13%20-%20destroy%20cartel.mp3]
The Sacrifice of Isaac by Rembrandt
“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others is immortal.” Albert Pike
Even with all of your hard work to create your Cartel, all the networking you’ve done to build relationships, there is one thing can dissolve your Cartel faster than anything else.
Self-centeredness.
Self-centeredness will destroy your Cartel, but the cure to self-interest is sacrifice.
Sacrifice creates trust. If you’re not willing to sacrifice your own goals for the needs of the team, how will anyone trust you to be part of their team?
Here’s My Story
In college, I wrote a few songs I thought were pretty good, and I decided I was going to be a famous musician, the next John Mayer (but better, because I couldn’t stand John Mayer). I did everything you’re supposed to do to be a musician. I started a band. I got shows at coffee shops and bars. I played guitar on the street for change (actually, I ended up making about $10 an hour!).
There was another musician I hated. He was in everyone’s band, playing drums, violin, guitar, keyboards, whatever the band needed. I was just in my own band. He went to three or four concerts a week. I went to one concert a month, at the most. He took every chance he could to practice, and once came into our rehearsal while we were taking a break to play my drummer’s set. I could barely discipline myself to practice more than half an hour a day. Worst of all, he seemed excited and full of life all the time. I felt depressed and emo.
I learned more about being a successful creative from my nemesis than I learned from two years of trying to become a famous musician. He cared about making as much good art as he could, no matter who was listening. I was obsessed with attention. He was willing to help any musician he could. I just wanted people to help me.
In other words, he was willing to sacrifice. I wasn’t.
Who do you think was more successful?
Soon, my friends got tired of listening to me practice. I alienated the members of my band and we stopped rehearsing. I got depressed playing to only five people at open mics and I quit.
My nemesis, on the other hand, spent the summer touring with a band that opened for a household country singer.
I failed at being a musician because it was all about me. What I really wanted was to be on a stage with everyone’s attention on me. I didn’t care about my band mates. I didn’t even care much about the audience. I cared about me.
President Woodrow Wilson said:
Men are in love with power and greatness… but if they use power only for their own ends, if there be no unselfish service in it, if its object be only their personal aggrandizement, their love to see other men tools in their hands, they go out of the world small, disquieted, beggared, no enlargement of soul vouchsafed them, no usury of satisfaction. They have added nothing to themselves.
How To Sacrifice For Your Cartel
Do you want to sacrifice for the sake of your Cartel? Here are five places to start:
1.Sacrifice task for relationship
It is easy to get caught up in what you’re doing, to put all your energies into writing, editing, and publishing your work. However, Cartels have shown us the importance of relationship, not just in our publishing and marketing efforts, but for our creativity, too.
Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club and Choke, says:
Use writing as your excuse to throw a party each week—even if you call that party a “workshop.” Any time you can spend time among other people who value and support writing, that will balance those hours you spend alone, writing. Even if someday you sell your work, no amount of money will compensate you for your time spent alone. So, take your “paycheck” up front, make writing an excuse to be around people. When you reach the end of your life—trust me, you won’t look back and savor the moments you spent alone.
2. Work on pro bono projects
Before I got my first paid writing job, I worked on a dozen projects for free, and I still work for free regularly. Doing pro bono work shows people they can trust you, that you’re responsible, that you put the needs of the community above your own, and that you can do good work. On top of that, I’ve found that doing work for free is one of the best ways to get more work in the future.
However, the key word here is projects. Projects have an end, and you I don’t think you should do free work that doesn’t benefit you without an end in sight. Another nuance to note, just because you’re not getting money doesn’t mean you’re not being paid. You might publish your story in a journal that doesn’t pay you or write a guest post for another blog in order to get exposure, which may be more valuable to you than money.
3. Be willing to do anything, in the beginning
In the story above, my nemesis succeeded where I failed because he was willing to play any instrument and fill any role he could, as long as he got to make music. Because of that, he earned the trust of talented musicians who eventually helped him do what he wanted to do most, play the violin.
When I started writing, I took this lesson seriously. Since I began taking writing seriously, I have had nearly every job in publishing. I wrote for newspapers and magazines. I apprenticed under an editor who worked with NY Times bestselling authors, and learned how to edit novels. I edited and compiled an anthology of short stories. I even learned the basics of designing covers and typesetting books.
Instead of only trying to accomplish my own dreams, I helped others accomplish theirs, and now publishers, editors, and other authors trust me enough to help me accomplish my own.
4. Donate your platform
One of the consequences of having a large platform is that several times week, a stranger asks, “Will you blog about my book/share my service/tweet about me.” I unilaterally ignore or say no to these requests, not because the book isn’t good or the resource isn’t worth mentioning, but because I don’t know the person asking, because I don’t trust him.
However, for a close friend, an ally, I will donate my platform, sometimes even when the quality of what they’re asking for is sub par. Why? Because I know them and trust them, because I’m willing to sacrifice my platform for my community.
5. Mentor Newcomers
Good Cartel members follow this rule: Protect newcomers, help them learn, and introduce them to others who can help them. Just because someone isn’t at your level now, doesn’t mean they aren’t talented. By helping people when they’re just starting, you can create a lifelong friend and ally.
What do you think? What else can you do to sacrifice for your Cartel? Share in the comments.
One last exercise to go. Ready to take it on?
I think these are all really good suggestions.Chuck Palahniuk does not resonate with me, however, because I savor being alone. Loneliness and alone are not the same thing. However, it is important to balance alone time with relationship time in the big world. A writer can’t tell stories without an audience and without a cartel. I am seeing more and more each day how important a cartel is. I also see in my own life what I have been doing right and what I have been doing wrong. I haven’t had balance. I either sacrifice all to the detriment of myself, or I don’t sacrifice enough, to the detriment of relationship-building. I am working on finding that balance.
I am more than happy to help people: read and edit, provide perspectives and encouragement, and so on. My concern is that if my writing isn’t getting picked up – if there’s something inherently flawed with it – what good is my opinion to help others? What value do I bring to the table if I’m having trouble achieving the level of writing I’m aiming for?
I like your humility, but I hope you’ll be encouraged that even non-writers have insights that can help the writer. And as Joe said
above, just because a writer isn’t at the same experience level as
others who are getting published doesn’t mean that the beginning writer
doesn’t have talent or potential. And you will probably find that
reading and giving feedback on others’ work will strengthen your own
writing as well. 🙂
What Darcy said. 🙂
On top of that, giving your perspective thoughtfully actually helps you become a more careful reader and thus a better writer. So it’s good for both of you.
The focus on generosity and away from self-centeredness is so refreshing. Thanks, Joe. Plus it makes me feel like I’m not being a fool by using some of my would-be writing time to help others develop their work through editing, synopsis/proposal help, etc. for free. I love doing it. The writing life would be so much less satisfying without the company of other writers. 🙂 And your story of the band life was such a good picture of all this, showing attitudes I’m sure a lot of us have felt before. Thanks for being willing to share.
Yes! I think if you have more writing friends you write more.
Being self-centered seems to be at the extreme of lacking self-confidence. That was, and still is, a problem for me – lacking self-confidence, that is. I try to share those feelings with writers who feel the same way; ones who want to quit; ones who should carry on. My motivation in sharing/mentoring is they will overcome those debilitating feelings.
Pro bono projects were a good way to get started and trusted and exposed. I wrote several articles for a northern magazine before getting paid. Great experience. And rewarding.
Just now I have created a community photo book with stories, and photography, it was all about connecting with people in the photos and collecting their stories. They feel like the book belongs to them not just me, and the project to share their stories of events we were all at together. It has taken me a while to make it ready for everyone, but I am so touched by their initial response to the sneak peeks of the manuscript. I love collective storytelling as well as telling my own stories, and have fallen into this kind of work after years of writing poetry. It’s new direction.
What a fun project, June!
$10 an hour playing guitar? Wow. That’s impressive.
I think the points you made a really valid. Another sacrifice that can be made for your Cartel is putting aside something else (like reading a book you’re dying to finish/watch TV/go to the movies) to critique the work of your friends or to help them work through a plot/character development problem or something like that.
Great point, Kim!
I get so into helping others and participating that I forget to write. I am always pulled in two directions: to critique more books and to write. It is an ongoing battle over which one will win. I write for fun and I do critiques for fun. I’m inspired by the work of others and I love to give suggestions.
Its a tough act to balance, but I know both actions are a good investment.
James:
I agree. As an example, I helped someone in my writing group who consistently asks for help and does not want to do the hard thing and learn to do things for herself. She is in the “victim” place, stating that she needs help because she is learning disabled. So am I . I have stated that that is a poor excuse and really a claim of having “creativity” which takes the place of being ordinary. Remember “it is the crooked legged man who is most successful on the sidehills of success.” I think that will be the topic of my next Blog. We all have our problems, lets make them work for us. And lets not-with the idea of reaching out-lenable people to stay where they are. Whatever we do must be in the realm of enabling greatness in whoever we help.
WOW! This is SO well-said! Your personal example of musicians was a perfect demonstration, and very powerful. Now I’m looking around and trying to see how I could do the same!
Oh, and one other thing: I really appreciate the warnings regarding projects-with-ends and such. That’s solid advice, and a trap I’ve fallen into more than once.
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