I love this, Ann. I felt like I was there with you including the angst filled separation and the unknowns. Not to mention the lack of water! (Four hours?)

I loved the self-deprecating way that you delineated Ron’s optimism, as opposed to your outlook. Priceless!

Your use of descriptive terms throughout (the hostel, weather, “little more than a faint goat path”) brought me right into the hike.

I am at pains to find anything wrong. I think I’ve made my quota for critiques but if I haven’t I’ll come back for any commas to take out. 😉

Great job!

Hi Jeanne!

Hi Michael! Oh, I hear you when you say that you get depressed when you aren’t writing. It’s a tricky thing in writing we soar, in sharing we shake. Thus the course community that Joe has created.

I am so glad to hear that you have your first novel up on sale and here but I hear the difficulties from many writers about sales numbers. I think putting it on Story Cartel will increase your visibility and thus your ranking (if I only had the structure of that ranking software). Visability is key as are reviews so putting it here is a great move. I’ve promised myself beyond my limit to read and review and want to honor that (outside of the Cartel) but I am very intrusted in reading your baby so, however I get it I will review for you.

Nice to meet you!

Hi Judith,

I really enjoyed reading this story. You gave your character something that she knew she was meant for and the obstacles she needed to overcome to get that; a horse.
It reminded me a lot of tacking up my Bluebar and going for a ride. 😉

The middle, needing to be a rebirth or transition for the character was well thought out. I felt her angst.

The writing is very clear though I wish that I could get deeper into the story, more of a chance to “see” what the main character was seeing. It sounds like you understand that and are working on it.

I say great going. So many girls can relate to this and will enjoy the story. Great job!

My audience will shift depending upon the book as I write genre and non-fiction. The one that scares me the most is The Grove which is literary fiction and the one story I want to get out there if, as all of the writers say, if it’s “your last day on earth.

For my other books, The Social Media Murder Mysteries, are part-cozy mysteries and part suspense, techno-thriller. The idea for the first one, based on a tweet sent I sent out long ago, will have a female lead, so more female mid-20-40’s. The second of the series, The Face (imagined before the real facebook killings & that’s only a working title as some author has taken that book title already, I forget his name 😉 I was going to base on the same age group but spread it more for males and females with the characters that come into the story on the first book.

The non-fictions will be changing based on the subject.

Thanks, Joe!

You’ve created a story and drawn in the readers, including me, enough that I think you will need to finish the story! 😉

I loved:

1) That you gave foreshadowing to the character of Violet that she was practiced enough to give a certain look to her husband’s colleagues.
2) The fact that she put him in the hot seat and was confident enough to do that to him.
3) The Trenton was very smooth and yet cocky so we didn’t know how to take him.

The one thing that bothered me was that I kept looking for her husband, as it was referred to as being a note delivered by mistake. The only thing…

Great job!

Hi Lori!

Wow, what a visual that first scene is. It brings you right into the story and actually facing the main character. That is writing chaps right there.

Oh,the top girl. That is always the case and will be forevermore, it seems. 😉

The other technique that you used, that is typical for girls, is the separating and trading of bracelets. I could practically hear them! And of course the top girl gets the correct one.

Leaving your main girl out of the first dance is, unfortunately, since olden times, also something familiar to all girls.

The only thing that I can see a difficulty with is that boys won’t be able to identify with it. That is not a problem, though, since I imagine you will be aiming it at YA for girls.

Great job!

I’m taking them to write better stories, help make a difference

Hi Elizabeth. I am so pleased that you have come back and we will be working together (to the end this time).

It’s nice to know you will be back and we will be working again. Although just a bit further away this time!
Lee

Hi Margie,

It’s nice to meet you. You’ve written five books already? What a great source for the non-fiction writers in the group, including me. In your fiction writing, your knowledge of color will open our eyes to the use of color in fiction; something I’ve always been interested in.

Looking forward to working with you!

Lee

Hi Paloma,

Being able to draw a jury into one side of the legal argument is quite a skill and easily transferable to storytelling. I respect your years of study and discipline and that as well is a great deal of what writing is all about. Study and writing; and, of course, arguing (kindly) in critiques.

Historical romance is becoming a nice escape for me instead of reading history books themselves. You are lucky to have such a sister for this! ;p

I am looking forward to working with you!

Lee

Ann,

It is so great to see your face again. I know the feeling of “the other stories” waiting. They are a niggling little bunch, aren’t they?

I lived in Montana for a year, throughout the state, camping, hiking etc. I never new the beauty. One of the few states I haven’t seen is Oregon, though I’ve been in California and the northern reaches (Siera Nevada), Seattle & Whigbey Island. I understand your passion for this and miss it very much. Do a hike for me one day. Tell me a story along the way. ;p

Great to be working with you again,
Lee

Hi Katie! Great to be working with you. Oh, I can understand “stage fright” being in Theater for years and then sharing my stories. My heart is doubling its beats just knowing I’m going to have to do that…again! But that’s the whole point of what Joe has created with this great community.

As an offshoot, working with Sky Writers must be thrilling.

You’ve already painted a setting in my mind with your homeland that I wish I were in! Beautiful!

Looking forward to working with you,
Lee

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by  Lee Tyler.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by  Lee Tyler.